Day 8,347 of staying at home.
Of course I'm exaggerating, but really, who hasn't lost track of the days?
I have to imagine some of you are feeling much like me. I'm grateful for my health and my ability to work from home. I feel guilt that my living situation hasn't changed hardly at all (my man works from home too). And just the general feeling of having to be positive all the time.
I'm struggling, I'm not gonna lie. I feel like I'm doing a daily privilege check, which is honestly not a bad thing. I wonder what my life would look like if I hadn't started writing. There are so many unknowns at the moment that I'm feeling isolated. Common sense says EVERYONE is struggling in some way. That thought alone is overwhelming and feels drastic.
So how do I, and everyone else continue on? I honestly don't know. Hour by hour? Day by day? Should we even dream of the future when we have no idea what that is going to look like?
I write. I garden. I stare out the window and watch the birds. I find joy in sitting in a chair in my backyard and breathing in the clean air. I take a mental snapshot of the laughter when we try to figure out what to cook for dinner...again. I check in with people more often. I don't let the days go by so quickly without making sure everyone is still there. Is that all any of us need to do? I'm not going to learn a new language, or take up knitting. I wouldn't do that anyway. So I'm not going to let myself feel bad for playing video games or binge watching a television show. I'm surviving. I'm doing things that bring me joy. It's selfish and I'm not going to stop and I'm not going to apologize.
My hope is that everyone gives themselves a break. Please don't feel that your children's entire education is resting on your shoulders. You didn't plan on being a teacher, so don't expect to become one over night. Are you kids watching their tablets all day? Are they happy doing it? Maintaining mental health is more important right now than enforcing rules about child rearing. Give yourself a break. Let them have chicken nuggets... again. PJ's all day? That sounds amazing.
Just breath. Take that moment alone, in a closet works. Calm your mind and your heart and get to the next moment. You're not alone, there are millions of souls just like yours. If you need help, ask for it. If you need an ear, reach out for it. Love yourself and each other.
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Writer by day, Netflix junky by night. Fueled by Red Vines and Coke Zero. Distracted by social media when I'm supposed to be working.